Ever wished you could be a different version of yourself? Maybe a bit more outgoing, or better at getting things done? Millions of people buy self-help books hoping to change parts of their personality. But does just wanting to change actually work? New research tells us something important: wishing isn’t enough; you have to actually do things.
A study looked at how people can intentionally change their personality by doing things that match the traits they want to have. Participants chose traits they wanted to improve, like being more outgoing, organized, or calm. Each week, they received specific, clear “challenges” – small tasks meant to help them think, feel, and act in ways that matched their desired traits. These challenges were like advice you’d find in a self-help book.
Let’s look at Jennifer. She was a student who really wanted to be more conscientious, which means being organized, hardworking, and responsible. In the study, she picked conscientiousness as a trait to work on. At first, Jennifer was excited. Each week, she would accept several challenges, like “schedule study blocks” or “make a to-do list”. But she often failed to complete them. Instead of feeling better, Jennifer found herself more frustrated and, surprisingly, even less conscientious than before. This matches what the study found: just accepting challenges without actually doing them can lead to feeling worse about that trait. It’s like repeatedly failing tells you, “Maybe I’m not really like that at all”.
Then, Jennifer changed her plan. She stopped worrying about how many challenges she accepted and focused on consistently completing the easiest ones. She started with organizing her phone apps and always cleaning dishes right after meals. As she consistently completed these small, conscientious behaviors, her conscientiousness ratings started to go up. The research showed that successfully completing more challenges predicted positive growth in traits like extraversion, conscientiousness, and emotional stability. For Jennifer, doing just two conscientiousness challenges per week could lead to a noticeable increase over time.
Interestingly, the study found that the difficulty of the challenges didn’t matter as much as just doing them. This means that simply taking part in trait-like behaviors, no matter how hard they are, can lead to change. So for Jennifer, simply doing any conscientious behavior, as long as she finished it, helped her grow. This shows that the key is active and successful implementation of trait-typical behaviors.
This idea isn’t just for personality traits; it applies directly to your health goals too! Many people want to lose weight, get more exercise, or eat healthier. But just wanting it, or planning a big diet or workout routine, isn’t enough.
- For weight loss: Instead of just hoping to drop pounds, focus on completing small, daily food challenges. This could be “drink a glass of water before each meal” or “add one extra vegetable serving to dinner”.
- For exercise: Don’t just plan to hit the gym for an hour. Complete a 10-minute walk, or do five minutes of stretching. The consistency of doing something is more powerful than the difficulty of what you plan but don’t do.
- For healthy eating: Don’t just say, “I’ll eat healthy next week.” Actively make one healthy snack choice today instead of a less healthy one, or choose water over soda.
Remember, the study showed that simply making plans but not following through can actually make you feel worse and might even lead to negative changes. But taking even small, consistent steps toward your health goals has the power to create real, lasting change.
If you’re ready to move beyond just wanting to change and start taking those intentional, consistent actions for better health, I can help. As a health coach for the past 7 years, I’ve seen firsthand how powerful this principle is. I’ve successfully helped people to lose weight – sometimes over 100 pounds – eat better, and sustain a consistent exercise program. Reach out to me today to make your health goals a reality through sustainable, intentional action!
Mike Thomas is a registered pharmacist and a Mayo Clinic-trained, board-certified health coach. He specializes in helping busy professionals overcome low energy, high stress, and chronic pain to reclaim their health and vitality.
This blog is for educational and informational purposes only and solely as a self-help tool for your own use. I am not providing medical, psychological, or nutrition therapy advice. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat any health problems or illnesses without consulting your own medical practitioner. Always seek the advice of your own medical practitioner and/or mental health provider about your specific health situation. For my full Disclaimer, please go to CoachMikeThomas.com.