By Mike Thomas, NBHWC May 9, 2024
When trying to grow personally and professionally, we often hear a nagging voice inside us—that’s our inner critic.
While this voice can push us to do better, it sometimes criticizes us so much that it gets in the way of our success and happiness. It’s important to remember that these thoughts are a part of us, but they don’t define who we are.
Take Rose, for example. She recently started going to the gym to get healthier. Two weeks in, despite being excited at first, her inner critic started making her doubt herself.
It made her feel bad about how she looked and worry about what others thought. These negative thoughts got so bad that Rose thought about quitting the gym.
The Problem with the Inner Critic
If we don’t manage our inner critic, it can make our fears and doubts worse, especially when we feel like we’re not meeting our goals.
This harsh self-criticism can make reaching success feel much harder and adds a lot of stress and doubt.
Fighting this critic head-on usually doesn’t help and can even make it stronger. A better way is to use a method I teach called the “Three R’s”: Recognize, Reframe, and Redirect.
The Three R’s: A Way to Beat the Inner Critic
1. Recognize: First, pay attention to your thoughts and feelings. Ask yourself: What am I thinking right now? How is it making me feel? We often don’t notice how negative thoughts affect our mood.
By being more aware, we can spot when the inner critic starts being too harsh. This helps us understand that the harsh words we tell ourselves are not ones we would say to someone else.
2. Reframe: After you notice these thoughts, try to see them differently. It’s normal to have doubts and fears, especially when trying something new or aiming to improve.
By seeing our thoughts differently, we can change our perspective. For example, instead of Rose feeling bad for being unsure at the gym, she could think, “It’s okay to feel uncertain—this means I’m challenging myself and growing.”
3. Redirect: Lastly, shift your focus to something positive. It’s hard to feel anxious and grateful at the same time.
When Rose’s inner critic comments on her looks, she can recognize those thoughts and then think about something good, like how strong her body is and the chance to be healthier.
By using the Three R’s, Rose was able to quiet her inner critic. She kept going to the gym, focusing on her health and the good changes she was making, instead of worrying about what others might think.
Your inner critic doesn’t have to hold you back. By practicing the Three R’s—Recognize, Reframe, and Redirect—you can turn it into a helpful motivator instead of a hurdle.
This technique not only reduces negative self-talk but also boosts your resilience and confidence.
What could this mean for you? Start today and take a big step toward being nicer to yourself and achieving more success. Even just getting better at the first R (Recognize) can really help because it makes you more aware of what you’re telling yourself.
Like any skill, practicing the Three R’s gets easier the more you do it. The better you become at it, the more it will help you grow and reach your goals.
This week, I led a short webinar where we talked about the inner critic and the Three R’s in detail. Feel free to check it out here.
To Your Better Health!
God Bless,
Mike
This blog is for educational and informational purposes only and solely as a self-help tool for your own use. I am not providing medical, psychological, or nutrition therapy advice. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat any health problems or illnesses without consulting your own medical practitioner. Always seek the advice of your own medical practitioner and/or mental health provider about your specific health situation. For my full Disclaimer, please go to CoachMikeThomas.com.